Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?

Where in the world have I been for the last couple of weeks? It wasn't anywhere exciting, it was mostly in my apartment, but I had been busy with a certain someone. So we have to start off with a recap from my last post. That thursday was an interesting day. I had coffee with Mr. Nurse, oh my god was that awkward... We had nothing to talk about and I also wasn't attracted to him in the least. So we fast forward about 5 hours to the second first date of the day. Usually I wouldn't double book, it always seems so cliche and trashy but WHAT THE HELL? I'm young, right? So for date two I had take out in my apartment with another guy that I met, who we actually share mutual friends. So after chatting with him he didn't seem to be a stalker so I let him come to my apartment. We started watching a movie, and of course things get a little handsy... Until the moment when i was unbuttoning his shirt and I started laughing hysterically. To fully understand why you have to rewind to earlier in the day where he talked a big game about his looks, and how perfect he was, and his big.... feet. I spent a good twenty minutes telling him he was in love with himself and that he was quite cocky and talked a big game, that he probably couldn't live up to. So fast forward back to the unbuttoning of the shirt... where I see an undershirt that has a silhouette of him on. I don't ever think I've laughed so hard in my life. He still swears to this day that he didn't wear that shirt on purpose and I'm still calling bullshit. At first I would have thought that shirt would have been a cock block but moral of the night ended up being that laughter and sex combo.. makes for some damn good sex. And he may have been right about a couple things.. he has a nice beard and veryyyy big feet if you know what I mean? So that's the story of my first night with Mr. Cocky. You'll just have to wait to hear about the rest of the three weeks. I'm back and ready to tell it all..... Look forward to my next post about my broken bed.

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee

I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned Mr. Nurse before in a post from last week, well maybe I didn't name him in my previous post. So here's the scoop I've been talking on and off with Mr. Nurse for a few weeks now. He's super busy schedule which never seems to match up right with mine, usually meant we played message tag and never really had full on conversation. The other night he took the plunge and asked me out to coffee on thursday. I've been avoiding make a full commitment to the coffee date. Something about him, just doesn't do it for me. Some of you are going to tell me that I am crazy when I start actually describing him. So Mr. Nurse is graduating from Yale and works At Yale New Haven Hospital for those of you who don't know what that is it's an Ivy league school/ teaching program with a nurse degree. (WOW Factor) He's super athletic and loves to go hiking and take outdoor trips. He's extremely nice and hard working and ambitious. All of which are categories that end up on my checklist. But even though he passes with high marks something about him, just doesn't give me butterflies, or even make me excited to go for coffee.  

I don't know what it is that turns me off, it could be because he's on the shorter side. Well he's my height(midget sized) which by my dating standards too short. I have a thing guys that are tall/ well at least taller than me. He also doesn't have the ability to grow a beard, which is a must. I am such a sap for good facial hair. This all sounds so vapid and superficial when I start listing. I also don't feel the connection. I don't wait for a message, or really feel the need to answer right away. It all just feels like I should just say no and not have to have the awkward this isn't going to work out conversation. Because whats worse than an awkward first date, having to explain that you thought the first date was awkward while they thought it was normal.

So my question is Coffee or No Coffee? 

Someone make a decision for me or I'm flipping a coin....

Celibate Saturday

DISCLAIMER: this post could border line too much information or a little risqué for your taste. If that's the case feel free to check back tomorrow for a new blog post a little less about sex.





I touched a little bit upon my favorite subject yesterday.... Sexting. For those of you who know me know that I will talk about anything and everything including sex. It's not one of those things that I find to be extremely private or feel like I have to hide from the world. Let's face it almost everyone has sex, so why would I be ashamed to talk about it? But I completely understand that not everyone thinks that way, for some it is extremely intimate and personal and something they in no way feel comfortable to talk about. Which is fine, and then there are the other girls only feel comfortable talking it through with their closest girlfriends, well you tell them everything right? And then there's me over here, who if you start the right conversation will tell you anything you want to know. 

I wasn't always like that though. It was like an evolution in life: you start out with the bad sex that you think is good, just because there is no comparison. That's the sex no one wants to talk about unless you are just saying yay we have sex. Then over time you progress into better sex with different sex partners. Sexual evolution takes over, you're willing to try new things and explore different options, sex is better than ever. That's the kind of sex that you describe to your girlfriends.  You've reached the point that you are comfortable talking about positions and details. You start to feel like you truly know what you're doing. And there's the point in your life when you know what you want, and what you like and if you're confident and outgoing you'll talk about it if the right person asks. (I say right person because you're not going to tell every creeper on the street) 

Now everyone by now knows that I have made my way into the online dating world. That does come without its own group of creepers/ overly forward guys. Most of them all ask the same questions: what are you wearing? Why haven't we had sex yet? Let's bang? What are you doing tonight, I hope it involves my bed? Most of the time unless I'm really bored I won't answer any of those questions. Let's face talking about my clothes, my underwear, or lack there of doesn't really come off as sexy. Descriptions unless you are a smutty romance novelist doesn't do it for me. Now 9 out of 10 times if you were to respond to these questions you would end up with a standard answer of oh that's hot! Really makes you want to put in the work and be creative huh? Then there's the other three sets of questions about when we are going to have sex. I get your just trying to get laid, but there are clearly better ways to do it, and here's a hint those questions are probably the reason you aren't getting laid....

<----Exhibit A would be this lovely conversation: so I got this message a couple weeks ago, and he caught me at a point when I was cranky tired. So I had a little snarky response. But after my witty comebacks I decided to take a chance and ask him if that line ever worked? His response at first was that it was his first time trying this line. Just a reminder I was snarky tired of course I responded with I'm more likely to believe that you are a virgin than that you've never tried that line before. That little zinger, apparently worked its magic... It wasn't his first time and he had never actually had it work. So I let him on a little secret, you want talk about sex just be honest about sex. 

There's something that is extremely sexy about talking about sex! Not talking dirty, oh put that there, smack me... Blah blah blah. That all has a time and place, but actually talking about sex. Some of the best sex conversations are talking about what you like and how you like. Why can't a sex conversation start off with where's the most public place you've had sex? There are points awarded for creativity, most likely it would end up with an actual intriguing conversation about sex. And I could be completely wrong, but at least to me talking about sex is way sexier than any fake Sexting. Those are the conversations that you carry on for hours and can be completely turned on because it's talking about what you know, your sex history and preferences. Who doesn't want to hear about how you actually like it or how you want it. But hey that's just me! I know that I am an extremely secure and forward person who doesn't represent a majority of the female population. I get told that all the time, " you really aren't like any other girl". But that's the way I like it. 

Forever Alone February

Forever Alone February is winding down, and I will swiftly be moving into No Man March. With that I thought I'd do a little recap of my eye-twitchingly long week. I swear this week could have come straight out of the twilight zone, and I apologize for any tangent that I may get off on. 

The week started off semi-normal. I chatted with a few normal guys. Most of the which were nowhere near my type. But you have to be objective a little, you can't really judge anyone based on an internet profile. One of which asked me out to coffee, I'm considering it but not really 100% sold. 

Then I got a message from a guy introducing himself and how much he liked my profile, heres the kicker I've known since elementary school. That moment when you're like umm.... So I actually know you, we went to elementary/ middle school together.. it's just plain AWKWARD.  That conversation lasted about a half an hour until it just got wayyyy too weird for me to even try.  

I had quite a few of my favorite what are you wearing conversations? Because those are the real original thinkers of our generation. All of which just respond with thats HOT! Because you couldn't possibly come up with anything more creative than that. Come up with a creative sexting pickup line and we can talk. Then there's the ones that wanted to snapchat. I just don't get the point of snap chat. While yes its fun to send to stupid pictures to your friends, I personally just feel if I'm willing to snapchat it to you, I am more than willing just to send you a text message with the same picture. People do realize that there about 5 free apps that can save snapchat pictures right? 

Who doesn't like dopplegangers? I know I would love to meet a doppleganger of John Krasinski or Ryan Gosling instead I have a message sitting in my inbox of the doppleganger of my exboyfriend....... Oh yes, just what I wanted to look at guy and be reminded of my exboyfriend. Same eyebrows/ eye ridges, same slope of the nose, same non-exsistent cheek bones and the same bags under the eyes. That  perfectly scruffy beard that draws me in. They could seriously be related. Now if this was really the twilight zone this version of my ex boyfriend would be perfect and sweet, and the man of my dreams. But we all know that would be way too easy, so I'm not opening that can of worms his message will sit in there forever. 

Next was the messages from guys with screennames like PookieJar, Chainbindingdream, EDTAkiller, Meltdown2005, hickyman420... really people need to put some more thought into their names. Because when you look like a stalker you should not pick names that elude to killer, or your meltdown in 2005, or that you like hickeys and smoking weed. Oy Vey!

Here's to No Man March starting off better than Forever Alone February ended. Otherwise this whole eat my feelings thing is going to turn out terribly wrong.... 

How Does A Girl Like You Not Have A Boyfriend?

What does every girl  thinks she wants to hear when they are talking to a new guy? For mosts it that  you are perfect, what he's always been looking for the girl of his dreams. It's a phrase thats meant to make you feel safe and "worthy" of his attention. In reality, at least for me its disarming. In that instant mentally going out on a tangent with a list of everything in my mind that I think are my huge personal flaws. I'm not perfect in no way shape or form, I'm just me. Which in many cases is extremely confident and rarely ever outspoken. But that is a phrase that could stop any good conversation in its track, all of sudden my charismatic self clams up and I'm no longer the free spirited blunt girl who tells you exactly how she feels. 

Well this was the case with Mystery Man #1. He was funny and sweet and we had a lot in common. We talked for a couple of days about the stupid things going on in our lives. We talked about our days off and then about work. It wasn't in the boring way you drone on about your boring day and the stacks of papers that you stapled. We teased each other mercilessly and flirted heavily. And then the bomb dropped. It's not the first time that a guy asked me and its not the last. But none the less it just made me feel as awkward as the first time a guy had asked, HOW DOES A GIRL LIKE YOU NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND? How on earth are you supposed to answer that question? 

How a normal person would answer that question: 

Awkward laugh, followed by a witty joke "Oh well I hadn't met you yet". The response came naturally because your initial interpretation of that question was that it was his way of calling you perfect and he couldn't imagine how a girl like you hasn't been snatched up by another guy. 

How my mind answers that question:

That's about how far i'd go to get away from that question!

It all starts out with a disclaimer: Well, it's sort of a long story, but I'm not really the girliest person in the world, which sort of makes me sound like a tranny. Which I am not.. But I'm picky and stubborn which is a hell of a combination. I have terrible taste in men, so I never trust my gut. Sometimes I swear I don't know what I'm looking for and when I do think I've found it I've usually made a terrible mistake. And the list of things that have gone wrong in my dating life continue to run through my mind. None of which I actually say.. well I only made that mistake once. Surprisingly in that situation It actually didn't turn out all that bad, we did end up still going on a date. But thats not the point, the point is that as soon as a guy eludes to the fact that I'm perfect, or a catch.. it's like instinct number one is to run as far and as fast as I can. 

For Mystery Man #1, that was the nail in the coffin. It was the moment when all the signs came crashing down, he wasn't going to be the man of my dreams. Because at the point I didn't feel like I could be the girl of his. Well hey, we win some we lose some.. on to the next suitor. Stay tuned for more stories on the ins and outs of online dating. 

Leibster Award!

So yesterday was a pretty exciting day, the lovely miss Kelly nominated me for a Liebster Award. Since I am extremely new to the blogging world, I was a little confused about what that really was. After a little research I was overjoyed, It almost makes me want to recite a Miss America Speech. They like me they really like me! I've only been blogging for a little over a week and am extremely excited by the followers I have gained over this week and hope to gain many more. So thank you Kelly over at AlongcameKelly for featuring me on your blog!

Films or series? 

While I love movies as much of the next girl I would definitely say I'm more of series girl. I am a huge Netflix binge addict, I'd rather watch an entire series in one day than watch it week to week when it airs.  

Take-away or eating out?

While I'm more likely to eat in, I love a good night out so I would have to say eating out is more fun.

Heels or flats?

Flats all the way, I couldn't walk in high heels if my life depended on it. But i do have a pair of knee high, high heel boots that I love dearly. They are like my little treasure that I attempt to wear out from time to time. 

Cold or hot holidays?

Cold holidays, And that's only because Christmas is during winter and I LOVE christmas. Fresh christmas trees, reindeers, decorations,  and baked goods what's not to love? 

Facebook or Twitter?

So I have twitter that I don't understand how to use or what the point. So I guess using facebook to enter a contest to win a TV and to promote my blog makes it useful website

Tea or coffee?

Tea, I've always had a lot of energy and drinking coffee gives me the shakes like a drug addict

Sweet or savoury?

Who doesn't have a sweet tooth? I can't pass up a good old fashioned backed good.

Lipgloss or lipstick?

I love a good lipstick, right now I'm addicted to anything from MAC with my favorite color being this great plum.

Bath or shower?

Bath, I will take any moment that I can get to sit back and relax.

Books or magazines?

I love a good book, I don't read as much as I used to.  If I start a good book I can't help but put everything aside in order to finish it ASAP. I think I have an instant gratification addiction. there's a recurring theme with this whole need to binge.

Dogs or cats?

I've had cats and dogs ever since I was little, So I don't know if I can decide. So I'm gonna say rabbit. Because overall that's the pet I miss the most.

Since I'm new to this whole blogging thing I'm not following alot of small new blogs but two of my favorite are: 

Amy Marie- Champagne and Pearls

Elise- Hello World

 So your questions ladies: 

1. What inspired your Blog name?

2. How and why did you get started?

3. Who is your favorite blogger?

4. What is the best advice you have ever been given?

5. What is your dream job?

6. Who was your first celebrity crush?

7. Favourite item of clothing you own?

8. Where do you see yourself this time next year?

9. Worst purchase you've ever made? 

10. Books or magazines?

11. Films or series?

Grouplove...

Riffling through my collection of pictures in order to shake up my profile a little. Most of the photos that I love are of me and my besties. Normally if I take a picture by myself, I just make this awkward oh you're taking a picture of me face. It's neither cute or endearing I promise. But if I take a picture with a group, I sort of feel obligated not to be the weird one who ruins the picture and really just doesn't want to be the ugliest one in the group. Because lets face it with such pretty friends its hard to compete. So I have to make sure I use my camera ready smile, not the rabid gerbil smile, or the creepy I'm up to something smirk. Because after all it will end up on Facebook for everyone to see. Just got've save those other two smiles for snapchat.

There are two major issues with using group photos for profile pictures when Online Dating. First of which how on earth are you supposed to narrow down whose profile it is? Do you actually want to take the ten seconds to open the full profile to find more pictures? Sometimes I'm just not in the mood, and it just seems like too much work. There's also that person who puts up 10 group photos all of which have at least three people in common. What do you do then? The first couple of rounds you go with your first instinct which will always draw you in to the uber attractive guy. Who am I kidding once you've honed in there are no other guys in that picture.  But after being burned a couple of times by my biased eye my trust began to waiver. So what do you do? Start to disregard the poor guy for poor choices in photo, or continue take the risk that he's the guy with gap tooth in the middle? 

Then theres the second risk you take in judging looks based on a group photo. It's subtle and deceitful and even a pro can be fooled.  There are many a times that I have succumb to the cheerleader effect, oh you've never heard of the cheerleader effect? The cheerleader effect is was first coined by Barney Stintson(HIMYM) to describe a group of super hot women or at least they seem to be super hot, until you take the time to look at each woman individually, and then you realize it. She's not hot all, In Barney's words she's a complete "sled dog". This phenomenon does not only apply to women. It is a psychological trick that effects both men and women. There are plenty of times when I've opened profiles and I've flipped through some alright photos and then hit a group photo where they looked SMOKIN' and all of sudden I've reached fan girl status. It's that hopeful thinking that could get lead you down the road to a very awkward first date. 

So after a taking a stab judging the group photo a couple of times, I've come up with a standard rule. If all you have to go on is a group photo, AUTOMATICALLY assume that he is the ugliest guy in the picture. This way when you are able to pinpoint which one is your stud muffin you aren't disappointed that he looks like more like a homeboy than your fantasy boy. And remember, don't disregard your first instinct of their other photos, because you'd hate to be duped by the cheerleader effect.