Forever Alone February

Forever Alone February is winding down, and I will swiftly be moving into No Man March. With that I thought I'd do a little recap of my eye-twitchingly long week. I swear this week could have come straight out of the twilight zone, and I apologize for any tangent that I may get off on. 

The week started off semi-normal. I chatted with a few normal guys. Most of the which were nowhere near my type. But you have to be objective a little, you can't really judge anyone based on an internet profile. One of which asked me out to coffee, I'm considering it but not really 100% sold. 

Then I got a message from a guy introducing himself and how much he liked my profile, heres the kicker I've known since elementary school. That moment when you're like umm.... So I actually know you, we went to elementary/ middle school together.. it's just plain AWKWARD.  That conversation lasted about a half an hour until it just got wayyyy too weird for me to even try.  

I had quite a few of my favorite what are you wearing conversations? Because those are the real original thinkers of our generation. All of which just respond with thats HOT! Because you couldn't possibly come up with anything more creative than that. Come up with a creative sexting pickup line and we can talk. Then there's the ones that wanted to snapchat. I just don't get the point of snap chat. While yes its fun to send to stupid pictures to your friends, I personally just feel if I'm willing to snapchat it to you, I am more than willing just to send you a text message with the same picture. People do realize that there about 5 free apps that can save snapchat pictures right? 

Who doesn't like dopplegangers? I know I would love to meet a doppleganger of John Krasinski or Ryan Gosling instead I have a message sitting in my inbox of the doppleganger of my exboyfriend....... Oh yes, just what I wanted to look at guy and be reminded of my exboyfriend. Same eyebrows/ eye ridges, same slope of the nose, same non-exsistent cheek bones and the same bags under the eyes. That  perfectly scruffy beard that draws me in. They could seriously be related. Now if this was really the twilight zone this version of my ex boyfriend would be perfect and sweet, and the man of my dreams. But we all know that would be way too easy, so I'm not opening that can of worms his message will sit in there forever. 

Next was the messages from guys with screennames like PookieJar, Chainbindingdream, EDTAkiller, Meltdown2005, hickyman420... really people need to put some more thought into their names. Because when you look like a stalker you should not pick names that elude to killer, or your meltdown in 2005, or that you like hickeys and smoking weed. Oy Vey!

Here's to No Man March starting off better than Forever Alone February ended. Otherwise this whole eat my feelings thing is going to turn out terribly wrong.... 

How Does A Girl Like You Not Have A Boyfriend?

What does every girl  thinks she wants to hear when they are talking to a new guy? For mosts it that  you are perfect, what he's always been looking for the girl of his dreams. It's a phrase thats meant to make you feel safe and "worthy" of his attention. In reality, at least for me its disarming. In that instant mentally going out on a tangent with a list of everything in my mind that I think are my huge personal flaws. I'm not perfect in no way shape or form, I'm just me. Which in many cases is extremely confident and rarely ever outspoken. But that is a phrase that could stop any good conversation in its track, all of sudden my charismatic self clams up and I'm no longer the free spirited blunt girl who tells you exactly how she feels. 

Well this was the case with Mystery Man #1. He was funny and sweet and we had a lot in common. We talked for a couple of days about the stupid things going on in our lives. We talked about our days off and then about work. It wasn't in the boring way you drone on about your boring day and the stacks of papers that you stapled. We teased each other mercilessly and flirted heavily. And then the bomb dropped. It's not the first time that a guy asked me and its not the last. But none the less it just made me feel as awkward as the first time a guy had asked, HOW DOES A GIRL LIKE YOU NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND? How on earth are you supposed to answer that question? 

How a normal person would answer that question: 

Awkward laugh, followed by a witty joke "Oh well I hadn't met you yet". The response came naturally because your initial interpretation of that question was that it was his way of calling you perfect and he couldn't imagine how a girl like you hasn't been snatched up by another guy. 

How my mind answers that question:

That's about how far i'd go to get away from that question!

It all starts out with a disclaimer: Well, it's sort of a long story, but I'm not really the girliest person in the world, which sort of makes me sound like a tranny. Which I am not.. But I'm picky and stubborn which is a hell of a combination. I have terrible taste in men, so I never trust my gut. Sometimes I swear I don't know what I'm looking for and when I do think I've found it I've usually made a terrible mistake. And the list of things that have gone wrong in my dating life continue to run through my mind. None of which I actually say.. well I only made that mistake once. Surprisingly in that situation It actually didn't turn out all that bad, we did end up still going on a date. But thats not the point, the point is that as soon as a guy eludes to the fact that I'm perfect, or a catch.. it's like instinct number one is to run as far and as fast as I can. 

For Mystery Man #1, that was the nail in the coffin. It was the moment when all the signs came crashing down, he wasn't going to be the man of my dreams. Because at the point I didn't feel like I could be the girl of his. Well hey, we win some we lose some.. on to the next suitor. Stay tuned for more stories on the ins and outs of online dating. 

Leibster Award!

So yesterday was a pretty exciting day, the lovely miss Kelly nominated me for a Liebster Award. Since I am extremely new to the blogging world, I was a little confused about what that really was. After a little research I was overjoyed, It almost makes me want to recite a Miss America Speech. They like me they really like me! I've only been blogging for a little over a week and am extremely excited by the followers I have gained over this week and hope to gain many more. So thank you Kelly over at AlongcameKelly for featuring me on your blog!

Films or series? 

While I love movies as much of the next girl I would definitely say I'm more of series girl. I am a huge Netflix binge addict, I'd rather watch an entire series in one day than watch it week to week when it airs.  

Take-away or eating out?

While I'm more likely to eat in, I love a good night out so I would have to say eating out is more fun.

Heels or flats?

Flats all the way, I couldn't walk in high heels if my life depended on it. But i do have a pair of knee high, high heel boots that I love dearly. They are like my little treasure that I attempt to wear out from time to time. 

Cold or hot holidays?

Cold holidays, And that's only because Christmas is during winter and I LOVE christmas. Fresh christmas trees, reindeers, decorations,  and baked goods what's not to love? 

Facebook or Twitter?

So I have twitter that I don't understand how to use or what the point. So I guess using facebook to enter a contest to win a TV and to promote my blog makes it useful website

Tea or coffee?

Tea, I've always had a lot of energy and drinking coffee gives me the shakes like a drug addict

Sweet or savoury?

Who doesn't have a sweet tooth? I can't pass up a good old fashioned backed good.

Lipgloss or lipstick?

I love a good lipstick, right now I'm addicted to anything from MAC with my favorite color being this great plum.

Bath or shower?

Bath, I will take any moment that I can get to sit back and relax.

Books or magazines?

I love a good book, I don't read as much as I used to.  If I start a good book I can't help but put everything aside in order to finish it ASAP. I think I have an instant gratification addiction. there's a recurring theme with this whole need to binge.

Dogs or cats?

I've had cats and dogs ever since I was little, So I don't know if I can decide. So I'm gonna say rabbit. Because overall that's the pet I miss the most.

Since I'm new to this whole blogging thing I'm not following alot of small new blogs but two of my favorite are: 

Amy Marie- Champagne and Pearls

Elise- Hello World

 So your questions ladies: 

1. What inspired your Blog name?

2. How and why did you get started?

3. Who is your favorite blogger?

4. What is the best advice you have ever been given?

5. What is your dream job?

6. Who was your first celebrity crush?

7. Favourite item of clothing you own?

8. Where do you see yourself this time next year?

9. Worst purchase you've ever made? 

10. Books or magazines?

11. Films or series?

Grouplove...

Riffling through my collection of pictures in order to shake up my profile a little. Most of the photos that I love are of me and my besties. Normally if I take a picture by myself, I just make this awkward oh you're taking a picture of me face. It's neither cute or endearing I promise. But if I take a picture with a group, I sort of feel obligated not to be the weird one who ruins the picture and really just doesn't want to be the ugliest one in the group. Because lets face it with such pretty friends its hard to compete. So I have to make sure I use my camera ready smile, not the rabid gerbil smile, or the creepy I'm up to something smirk. Because after all it will end up on Facebook for everyone to see. Just got've save those other two smiles for snapchat.

There are two major issues with using group photos for profile pictures when Online Dating. First of which how on earth are you supposed to narrow down whose profile it is? Do you actually want to take the ten seconds to open the full profile to find more pictures? Sometimes I'm just not in the mood, and it just seems like too much work. There's also that person who puts up 10 group photos all of which have at least three people in common. What do you do then? The first couple of rounds you go with your first instinct which will always draw you in to the uber attractive guy. Who am I kidding once you've honed in there are no other guys in that picture.  But after being burned a couple of times by my biased eye my trust began to waiver. So what do you do? Start to disregard the poor guy for poor choices in photo, or continue take the risk that he's the guy with gap tooth in the middle? 

Then theres the second risk you take in judging looks based on a group photo. It's subtle and deceitful and even a pro can be fooled.  There are many a times that I have succumb to the cheerleader effect, oh you've never heard of the cheerleader effect? The cheerleader effect is was first coined by Barney Stintson(HIMYM) to describe a group of super hot women or at least they seem to be super hot, until you take the time to look at each woman individually, and then you realize it. She's not hot all, In Barney's words she's a complete "sled dog". This phenomenon does not only apply to women. It is a psychological trick that effects both men and women. There are plenty of times when I've opened profiles and I've flipped through some alright photos and then hit a group photo where they looked SMOKIN' and all of sudden I've reached fan girl status. It's that hopeful thinking that could get lead you down the road to a very awkward first date. 

So after a taking a stab judging the group photo a couple of times, I've come up with a standard rule. If all you have to go on is a group photo, AUTOMATICALLY assume that he is the ugliest guy in the picture. This way when you are able to pinpoint which one is your stud muffin you aren't disappointed that he looks like more like a homeboy than your fantasy boy. And remember, don't disregard your first instinct of their other photos, because you'd hate to be duped by the cheerleader effect. 

Finally, Home Sweet Home

TWO MONTHS after moving into my apartment I have finally unpacked my last box and it's like the weight of a dead body has been lifted off my chest. My apartment finally looks and feels like home. Well except for the fact that I still have random empty pictures frames scattered around, but that's just going to have to be a project for another day.. because let's face the closet took everything I had out of me. After a long week at work, I went on a cleaning spree this morning and got a little overzealous. My apartment needed a little bit of tidying up after a week of sleeping in an unmade bed. I don't know why, it's probably psychological, but I always sleep better in a bed that was freshly made. I'm not a terribly mess person, but the place definitely needed a good clean down. Once I got started cleaning, it was like I wasn't going to stop. And thats when it happened, I got swept away and opened the door to THE CLOSET. Dun Dun Dun... Okay so let me start off by saying, I'm pretty sure that everyone has one of these closets when they first move into a place. You know what I'm talking about just admit it, that one that you shove all the boxes you don't want to look at into. Moving can be extremely daunting. You unpack for weeks and weeks and then one day you just can't look at the boxes anymore. So you do what any normal human being would do hide them. It's only going to be for a little while you tell yourself. Just long enough for me to feel like I'm at home and that it's not completely a disheveled mess. Weeks go by and you don't think about it again until one day you realize you need a pair of your fat pants out of the bottom of the box over in the corner. You tear through the box because you have to be to work in 20 minutes, and then you don't open the closet door again until weeks later when you need that next obscure clothing item. And Before you know it, that closet is the scariest place on earth and it could haunt you in your sleep.

Now I'm going to show you a picture of this closet, while it mortifies me to show people that at any point i was this much of a slob... I have to admit it feels pretty damn good to have a clean closet and NO MORE BOXES! Which officially means that I have completely unpacked my life and no longer live in my parents house. (oh wait... except for the boxes that sort of still live in their basement and my mom nags me to take every single time I stop over.... Oh well those are out of sight out of mind. I can't let a little detail like that get me down.) But the best part is I've also found the other 3/4s of my wardrobe. Which low and behold has some color in it. I've worn a lot of grays and blacks lately it's like I was mourning the fact that I had lost the other half of my wardrobe to the closet from hell. Now I just need it to be spring so I can find some furniture to upcycle, so that my coffee table isn't a chest and my end table isn't made of hat boxes... I never thought I'd still be "moving in" two months later, but at least now it's starting to feel like home. 

What a Dreamboat.... Not

If you're anything like me, when you first started online dating there was this sense of anxious euphoria everytime that you heard the little ping notification coming from your phone. There would be the awkward jostle to get your phone out as quickly as possible, checking instantly to see if he was dreamy and perfect in everyway. You open the profile to get a sneak peak at him.. and low and behold he's not dreamy at all. But you want to give him a little bit of chance so you half-heartedly open his message and you read this.... 

 Why Mr. Dreamboat, Just Why? I sit here thinking where to begin dissecting this joke of a message. What the hell why not just start with the best part... ohhh his sweeping proclamation of love for girls with curves. What girl who isn't a size 0-2 doesn't want to hear how much you love the parts of their body that they hate most.... Does this guy know anything about women? Every girl at least the ones I know hate their curves. Well unless she is supermodel with perfect curves who hasn't discovered what its like to have cellulite on her butt. Okay so while I wasn't all that fond of that comment, the part that annoyed me more was that the whole last half sounds like a thirteen year old girl had written it. What self respecting man says the word effing and adds 5 sssssss to the end of gorgeous. I can't even bring myself to do it and I'm a 23 year old woman. At any point did he think this message was going to get him laid? Come on, while it's great that you have a full time job, and own a home, and not one but two cars is it really all that necessary for you to spam my inbox with your vague life history. Did you know that janitors are employed full-time and that I know a guy with 8 cars none of which run... Let's be serious here if you are trying to brag about what you think your life savings is worth it's not really going to help you out when you sound like you haven't quite reached puberty yet. But we haven't gotten to the real draw, the jet skis.......oh the jet skis. I can't lie there was a 20 second window where I contemplated messaging him back. Come on, it's jet skis! But then it all flashed before my eyes. 

 I'd be over here riding the jet skis, look at how much fun I'm having! And right there behind me that's my sex life sinking as fast as the titanic. Because there is no way that I would be able to pretend to have any sexual interest in a guy that calls me gorgeuosssss and just loves a girl with curves!!! Could I give up sex for a summer full of riding out in the water on jet skis? Okay, Maybe... Oh wait NOPE it's the dead of winter and I'd have to keep that charade up for 5 months before I got anything out of it.  That's it  Mr. Dreamboat just got added to the pile declined messages, right next to the creeper with the a foot fetish, But that's a story for another day. 

Chivalry ISNT Dead But it Sure is AWKWARD

What girl doesn't love a bad boy? There's always that irresistible magnetism that draws you in and has you hopelessly fawning over his bad boy ways. You know those boys that no matter how hard you try you can't seem to break down the barriers, they're yours but not yours all at once. I know my track record speaks for itself, I pick all the wrong types of guys. There's always that thrill of the chase, the fervent flirting, the hopes that a guy like him would like you, want you.... Then there's the joy of winning him over, he's all yours, that sense of bliss and euphoria. And slowly but surely it sinks in.... but is he really all yours?

There's always the things you don't talk about, the time you don't spend together, the places he doesn't take you and slowly but surely you realize once again you've picked the wrong guy. You've succumbed to the subconscious need to find someone that will change for you, because you're worth it. But really what are we looking for them to change into? Am I still tragically looking for my true life Beast? The tough exterior, with the heart of gold inside? I've never seen myself as a hopeless romantic, but no matter how much i personally want to deny it, fight it, bury it deep down inside it's time to face facts my history proves it to me time and time again.
So I set out to change the way that I see dating. I wanted to find a guy that was sweet and caring, and honest. He started the day off with Good Morning, and ended the night with Goodnight and in between we talked about everything under the sun. This was the start of my online dating escapade. I had success  from the start, I was more surprised than anything at how quickly we connected. I started talking to Mr. Nice Guy out of the blue and wasn't really expecting it to go anywhere. We talked for weeks, about everything from work, to family, to the boring things we did in our spare time. He was polite and well-mannered with a good sense of humor. He was patient when I was hesitant to meet him right off the bat since it was the first time either of us had tried online dating. It was easier getting to know him, than some of my other suitors. He was the type guy that if you sent him a dirty drunk text, he called you adorable and said you should probably get some sleep. He was a gentlemen and I didn't know what to do with that. He was unlike anyone I'd ever considered dating in the past.

When it came time to go on a date I was a wreck. What if we didn't have anything in common? What if he didn't actually look like his pictures? What if I'm too awkward? It never crossed my mind that him being too nice would ever seem like the problem. We decided on dinner and a movie. He picked me up and drove to dinner. The first moments were awkward, we didn't know where to start or what to talk about. But then it just began to flow, the same way our texts and messages did for the past weeks. We got to the restaurant and that's when I truly realized I was in over my head. He opened the door to the car for me which seemed foreign and awkward.  I didn't know how to respond, other than to say "you know you don't have to do that". To which he joked and said "try and stop me", I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but I brushed it off.  As we approached the restaurant he opened the door and took my coat as we waited. We gushed over what we did that day, and what our friends were saying about our date. We went through what seemed like the best date I'd ever been on. He took the check and wouldn't let me pay no matter how much I protested and pouted. Which was fine and dandy until he robbed me of my leftovers as I reached to carry them out. Once again, I felt awkward walking out to the car as he held my left overs and opened doors. He insisted on pulling the car out so that I wouldn't have to walk in the snow. A nice sentiment, but yet again completely unnecessary. We moved onto part II of our date, dinner was done and it was onto the movie. We had picked three movies and narrowed them down to one. We were going to see Wolf on Wallstreet, which was funny, vulgar, full of nudity and drugs and exactly the kind of movie that I love. But I watched as he squirmed in his seat as the "awkward" scenes came up. I sat back relaxed and laughing, almost in my element. The movie drew to a close and we exited the theater. He apologized immensely for picking such a vulgar movie, he never wanted to make me feel uncomfortable. As If, I loved the movie and would totally see it again. It was another moment when, I truly felt awkward. He was literally apologizing for my taste in movies.. Weird, Right? As we approached my apartment he gave me a quick gentlemen like kiss goodnight, and then he was gone.

As we texted that night, I felt as if I had fallen out of a fairytale. He truly was a gentleman and all around nice guy who brought me on what for anyone else would have been a fairytale date. But yet, I couldn't help but think, could I really handle having someone feel like they have to do everything for me. The almost awkward feeling of my independence being ripped out from under me. Was he my fairytale guy? No. It took a good and nice guy to make me realize, that I actually like doing things for myself. Opening a door doesn't sweep me off my feet the way it always seems to all women in those romantic films. And so what if I didn't want to give up carrying my own leftovers? Come on, who doesn't want the smell of loaded potatoes wafting in front of them? And frankly, I'm just not the girl who wants a quick peck goodnight. I want the passion and fire in my life. Maybe I'm just not programmed to be the girl who wants that nice guy.


Who would have thought, the lessons you learn in one night can change your outlook forever. I still view that night as an optimistic first stab at online dating. While it didn't work out with Mr. Nice Guy, I did learn a lot from our first date. First and Foremost, chivalry is not dead but damn it sure does feel awkward. And maybe just maybe, I might just be that girl holding out for my own real life Beast.
<---Or just the right nice guy who can still surprise me, if you know what I mean?

Homebody Hobbies

One thing living on your own teaches you is that you have to be completely comfortable being by yourself. Which can get lonely at times. At first, Netflix is your best friend.. you spend every late night hanging out and watching random/ tragic TV series. But one day you either run out of new series or you just get bored of what you do when your bored. It only took about 2 months for me to hit the true brink of boredom. Leaving me in search of a new hobby to fill out some of my time at home.

What twenty-something girl doesn't want to be the cute artsy girl at one point or another? Taking to Pinterest, my favorite time wasting website. I love Pinterest for multiple reasons, the first of which is it has a million great ideas. But second of all it makes you feel like you can do anything with the help of a little tutorial. In reality, the end project never quite turns out the way you want it to, and you're left with a more abstract piece of art. But what the hell, I always seem to come back for more. 

Current hobby I'm totally mastering (well not really, but i'll let you judge that in a minute).... Watercolor painting tutorials. I've tried sunsets, and flowers, and then there's paintings that are just plain abstract.... Well it didn't start out with intention of being abstract, it just sort of ended up looking like Rorschach Test, so I just went with it. I can say following well written tutorials like this one from Barksblog http://www.barksblog.com/2013/07/watercolor-poppy-painting-tutorial.html gives you sense of accomplishment and success. This poppy tutorial so far is my favorite and sort built the confidence to take a risk and just be creative. 

So here are a couple others that i have painted. Nailed it or failed it? 

It's still a work in progress... Maybe I'll get better, or maybe I'll find another Pinterest Hobby to try. 

Do you have any pinterest nailed its or failed its? 

Be the Girl EVERY Guy Wants To Talk To

You know you clicked on this post because you're dying to hear how to be the perfect girl that every guy wants. It's the for the same reason that we all fawn over the next month of COSMO magazine.  While I am a reluctant COSMO fan, I can't help but saying a majority of those articles are full of crap. They write articles with titles that not only demean your self-esteem but draw you in order to fix what they have deemed "wrong with you." This isn't a blogpost to fight the self esteem of single twenty something women, but yet to help you find your very own self esteem.

If there is anything that I have learned since putting myself out there through online dating it is to just be your damn self. Don't lie or smudge the details about your height, hair color, or even your weight no matter how much you want. Don't pretend to like football, baseball or any sport for that matter. Let's face it just because you can google it doesn't mean you should. Because eventually you will decide you like someone enough to meet them, and you won't be the girl that you promised them. There's nothing more depressing than being all excited about the new blossoming relationship just to realize you are sitting across the table from a guy you have nothing in common with. Worst part is you can't find a clever way to google, the last three subjects he's brought up and you're almost done with your dinner. And there goes the only opportunity that you have to hide the awkward silence with a mouth full of food.
I know the feeling that every girl gets when they open up their blank profile. Oh the pressure of picking out the perfect pictures. First instinct, Find EVERY picture you have ever taken where you look like a barbie doll or a beauty queen. That's because this is what every issue of COSMO has taught us since we were in our teens. Guys want the pretty girl, who looks perfect 24/7 and is the epitome of the perfect girlie girl. While being pretty is a great and all... It isn't whats going to draw in real conversations from guys you would actually be interested in. Instead you will end up with an inbox full of catcalls from every creep within a 50 mile radius. Pick the photos that show who you are.
                          Don't be afraid to make this face ->

While I have what I think (which is a totally biased opinion) to be a nice combination of photos on my profiles, I've never been afraid to show who I really am. It's often those photos are the ones that guys mention when they start talking about how I caught their eye. The photo above of me making the rabid gerbil face is often the most commented on picture. That's my man attracting face... and I used to beg to have that picture taken off my friend's Facebook. Then one day I just started to embrace it because in reality that is who I really am, and that's a face that I know I make quite often. And if you can LOVE that face, then we might just get along. Show me the pictures you'd pick for your perfect profile. Are they funny, sassy, crazy? Let's hope so because that's who you really are.

The moral of the story is LOVE WHO YOU ARE AND BE WHO YOU ARE, and you're taking a step in the right direction to creating your perfect profile. 

A Single Girl in the Age of Online Dating

Who would have thought there was going to be a day in my life when I wanted to admit to trying online dating? A couple months ago I would have said never in a million years. But that was when I was living at home with my mom and my little brother. Who has time to think about their lack of romantic social life when you are constantly being tricked into watching a baby in your free time? 

But now I have my own apartment, my social freedom, and I'm over here twiddling my thumbs thinking "How on earth do you meet new people?" 

In college it was easy, you go to a party with your friends and you manage to meet 25 people you've never met before. But parties after college seem to always be with the same people, all of which you seem to have known since high school. And lets face it, I didn't want to date any of them then, and I sure don't want to date any of them now.... So you think the other option, go out to a bar meet a nice guy. Yeah right, that's not where you go to meet nice guys that's where you go to meet a drunken idiots. You know the ones who comment on how pretty you are because you're wearing the right pair of jeans and your boobs hanging out of your shirt just the right amount. I didn't even mention how much the beer googles help to make them more attractive both in the physical attributes and personality department. So we've crossed out going to parties and going to the bar in order to meet new people. Then there is the worst option, dating people at work. It all seems fine and dandy until you realize, you are the worst couple ever and break up. Then you realize that seeing each other everyday at work is not cute and endearing, its now just plain awkward and miserable. Gets two steps worse when one of you starts dating another co-worker. Let's just say it never turns out good for either party involved. So where's left to meet people? A cute run in at the grocery store? Now that's just a storyline out of a chick flick, if you wait around for that day you'll be single forever. 

So that leaves me here. Sucking up my awkward pride and admitting that I am online dating, and having the time of my life. I've got stories for days, and look forward to upcoming posts about the good, the bad, and the just plain ugly of online dating.